So it goes.

So fucking cranky I could cry. Plus I’m late. I painted my toes and they look like shit. I ran out of nail polish remover. My building failed to mention they’d be turning off the water. So no workout for me..which would have probably elevated my mood for the rest of this rant. I put too much honey on my yogurt. First, I didn’t put enough. Plus since yesterday, I really miss my dad. Stupid feelings. My internet is slow. I still have to iron my skirt. If I start a fire, which I could since I’m retarded with heated appliances, I have no smoke detector or fucking water. Fuckers.  Fucking shit cock sucking motherfucker cunt whore son of a bitch assholes. I like to curse when I’m mad. Otherwise, I don’t curse much. Idk why I’m telling you this. I’m so cranky. I want to cry. I’m THIRSTY. I don’t even want to get up. My day sounds complicated. I gotta go all the way uptown to this fucking unpaid internship (today I’m not happy to be working for free), pay 5 dollars in trains to be there 3 hours, make it downtown, to meet with someone to talk about me NOT working for free and the urgency for that to start…NOW. To then go all the way midtown, to meet my hot mess looking broker who doesn’t fucking listen to my budget and has me walking all around town walking into too expensive shoebox apartments for $1925. My heart is palpitating. This is me going ape shit. 

I’m LATE. 

I want to be a professor and honestly, I’m learning a lot about what NOT to do, from these CMU professors. I have been emailing this woman all semester..with questions, concerns, notices about having to miss class, emailing my assignments early.. and not ONCE have I gotten a response. She was blunt enough to come up to me during class one day and say “I got your message”. Bitch, where’s my response ? 

It’s just RUDE. I know you check your email. You even tell me you checked the email and you don’t think you should respond even when I’m asking an important question. 

It’s sad, that I have to get the class list and email the whole fucking class and they respond to me within a few hours. 

Someone needs to take away your tenure. Perhaps put down that bottle of red dye bc you’re not fooling anyone that you’re a day under 60 and get to work. 

How about you add a fuckin’ HUMAN box and stop filling quotas. 

What the hell am I supposed to pick??

“Are u hispanic/latino?…

Regardless of your answer to that question are you: Black, White, Native American or Pacific Islander?” 

The fuck am I supposed to say? 

I’m Dominican/Belgian and everyone fucks each other all the time so I circled everything. pointless fuckin question

When it’s obvious that you are lecturing me simply because you are not involved in the plan, please just don’t. Here’s the deal, I was never raised with traditional parental figures. I grew up telling myself to do my homework, to do well in school, to get a job, to save money, to come home at a reasonable hour (yes, I had self given curfews), to go to bed at a reasonable hour, to have a stellar gpa and some shiny transcripts off to colleges before my first alcoholic drink, to use condoms, and to send thank you notes when applicable. Here I still am, paying my bills, telling myself to go to bed, cleaning my bathroom when needed and sacrificing party invitation to study for my exams. If I oversleep for a class or do poorly on an exam, I also have the self-built-in mother to reprimand me for my mistakes. I don’t need you or anybody else, who is on no level higher (or lower) than me to make “parental” remarks about my actions or my mistakes. Especially when if I make those mistakes WITH you, then it’s not an issue.  You worry about your business and I’ll continue my self-discipline as I always have. Please and thank you.